Why the heck should I pay you $200 just to set me up on a single date and $100 to set me up on any subsequent dates with other people?  Why don't I just go to one of the many online dating sites and pay a monthly fee of about $35 wherein I can have contact with virtually unlimited people?
My clients are interested in quality, NOT quantity.  I personally meet with every single one of my clients and ascertain in tremendous, personal detail, what exactly they are searching for.  Issues such as their desire for children, how frequently a guy pays on dates and/or their preferences for sex are discussed since money, sex and children seem to be the three biggest causes of divorce.  I find out what a person is really like, and what they really want, perhaps unlike any other matchmaking service on the planet.  Furthermore, I do a Statewide Felony, Misdemeanor and Criminal Traffic Conviction search from 1980 to the present on all of my clients.

Legal Disclaimer: The Public Records and commercially available data sources utilized to perform the Statewide Felony, Misdemeanor and Criminal Traffic Conviction background check might have errors. Data is sometimes entered poorly, processed incorrectly and is unfortunately not always free from defect. Accordingly, information might not be definitively accurate. Before relying on any data, it should be independently verified.

Furthermore, I do all of the work of setting up and arranging a date at the Starbucks Coffee located nearest to the female.  You will not have to endure the never ending phone calls/emails, stress, anxiety and competitive nature in trying to set up a first date.  I do all of that for you.  Also, neither party will exchange information at the end of the date.  Instead, both parties will contact me and disclose whether I am authorized to release the contact information of each party.  This avoids the uncomfortable situation at the end of the date of whether you want to see the other person again.

Perhaps most importantly, the majority of ads on personal dating sites consist nothing more than porn site ads, players and/or insistence that they spend weeks via email/phone prior to actually meeting for coffee in a totally public place.  I personally have had over eighteen thousand (18,000) communications online and have definitely confirmed this to be true.  Likewise, even if you do actually find somebody online that is legitimate, the problem is most people want to spend a great deal of time communicating via email and phone calls prior to meeting via safety concerns, etc.  This isn't productive because I have had hundreds of promising communications with people, but once I eventually did meet them in person, they were far different from what I had anticipated thereby wasting days or weeks of time unnecessarily. 

Lastly, even assuming you have successfully survived all of the above dating issues, even when you do meet them, most times you still cannot find out what they are 'really' like.  For example, I have lost track of how many women told me they thought it was too personal to discuss whether they wanted children, or how many, or by when, on the first date.  But why?  Why the heck should I waste their time, or mine, if they want children and I don't?  Certainly the same holds true for a number of more personal issues that I discuss with my clients.

 
I want you to find my match, but before I meet them, I absolutely require that I talk to them on the phone and/or email.
No!  No!  No!  I have already  personally met with them, I have already performed a Statewide Felony, Misdemeanor and Criminal Traffic Conviction search from 1980 to the present on all of my clients, they have already paid $200 to actually meet somebody seriously looking for a relationship, and I have already scheduled the meeting place (i.e. Starbucks Coffee nearest to the female) in a totally public place.  Talking on the phone or communicating via email is far different from actually meeting the person.  So why waste time?  Hence, if you require to speak to the person on the phone or via email prior to meeting them, then do NOT become a client.  To be viciously honest, you are the exact type of person I do not want as a client.  Use one of the online dating services instead.  You will fit in there perfectly.

Legal Disclaimer: The Public Records and commercially available data sources utilized to perform the Statewide Felony, Misdemeanor and Criminal Traffic Conviction background check might have errors. Data is sometimes entered poorly, processed incorrectly and is unfortunately not always free from defect. Accordingly, information might not be definitively accurate. Before relying on any data, it should be independently verified.

 

   
I want you to find my match, and I am willing to meet them, but I don't drink coffee.  I'd much prefer to meet for drinks or for dinner.
No!  No!  No!  I don't drink coffee either.  Ever!  Nonetheless, I have met over 500+ people at Starbucks Coffee.  If you don't drink coffee, no problem.  Order something else.  They have tea, or juice, etc.  The point is not where you go, but who you are with.  Hence, if you cannot endure sitting for a friendly cup of coffee, or tea, or juice prior to meeting, then do NOT become a client.  To be viciously honest, you are the exact type of person I do not want as a client.  Use one of the online dating services instead.  You will fit in there perfectly.
   
I checked with other matchmaking services and they are charging from $1,000 and up.  You are charging a small fraction of the cost.  I guess you get what you pay for, right?
Bull!  Just because I voluntarily choose to have a far lower price, that does not impact the quality.  Indeed, those other guys likely aren't going to ask the personal and probing questions I do to 'really' find what you are looking for, do a Statewide Felony, Misdemeanor and Criminal Traffic Conviction search, nor set up the date/time/location of the date.  I never have agreed with that philosophy of quality being based on price.  Does that mean volunteer work is inferior?  Even though I'm a Jewish lawyer, believe it or not, I'm not always motivated by money.  Lets just say I'm keeping a promise.  But heck, if you prefer, feel free to voluntarily pay me more money.  I certainly won't object.
   
What States do you offer your matchmaking services in?
I only try and make matches in the New Jersey area.  Why?  Because I personally meet each and every one of my clients.  I want to know what they are 'really' looking for wherein I ask very personal and probing questions.  Hence, unless people are willing to schlep to New Jersey to meet with me, I will be unable to assist.
   
How long will it take for you to find my match?
Good question.  Unfortunately, I don't have a good answer.  Unlike most other dating services that will frequently say, "No problem. I  have somebody in mind right now," wherein they evidently just send you out on a date with anybody they currently have as a member, my approach is far different.  Indeed, those other guys generally charge several thousand dollars, require payment upfront and once they got your money, they have nothing to lose.  I, however, only charge a fraction of that.  Thus, I know I only get one shot at trying to impress you.  I realize that if I simply send you out on a date with somebody that doesn't fit your criteria, I will never see you again.  Hence, its in my best interest to carefully try and match you.  And if I don't have somebody that fits your criteria, I simply won't send you out on a date right away.  Instead, I will wait until I find your match. 
   
If you are such an expert on matchmaking, have been in the newspapers, and radio, and television, and received worldwide media attention in over a dozen countries, why haven't you ever been married?

First of all, anybody can get married. The problem is waiting to get married until you find the right person. Second of all, out of all the women I met, very few were a good match for me. For example:

a.  I do not want to date somebody that has or wants children. (This eliminates about 99% of the female population). [1% remaining]

b.  The vast majority of women hate to date shorter guys (I’m 5’5”). (This eliminates about 75% of the female population). [.0025% remaining]

c.  I believe that dating is a preface to marriage wherein both parties contribute, not only emotionally, but financially. Hence, if you aren’t going to pick up the tab sometimes, or refuse to go on vacation unless I pay, I ain’t the guy for you. (This eliminates about 75% of the female population). [.000625% remaining]

And the list goes on and on. Hence, statistically speaking, I basically have a better chance of wining the lottery and getting hit by lightning simultaneously, then I do of finding my match! And that is why I decided to open my own unique matchmaking service.  Nobody is matchmaking utilizing these sensitive issues.  Instead, they simply send you out on dates with whomever they currently have as clients regardless of who you are or what you are searching for.

   
Will you find the love of my life on your first try?
I would love to.  Indeed, if I found the love of your life on the very first try, I know you would undoubtedly tell every family, friend and perhaps even enemy, of my tremendous matchmaking skills.  True, it is my sincere intent to try and find your match on the first shot.  However, statistically speaking, I may not get it perfect on the first shot.  Its improbable that anybody can.  Nonetheless, after you utilize my services for $200 (which includes a private meeting in my home office and criminal background check), you will hopefully conclude that although it might not have been an absolutely perfect match, I did indeed succeed in finding you somebody that possessed many of the qualities you were searching for.  Hopefully, if that is the case, you'll allow me another opportunity to try again.  If so, I will only charge you $100 the next time or any time thereafter since another meeting in my office is unnecessary nor does another criminal background check have to be performed.
   
What kind of lawyer are you and where are you admitted to practice law?
I handle a variety of different types of legal matters including, but not necessarily limited to, divorce, traffic tickets, debt collection, real estate, contract disputes, etc.  I am admitted to practice law in the following areas/jurisdictions:

Supreme Court of New Jersey, 1997
United States District Court of New Jersey, 1998
District Of Columbia Court Of Appeals, 1999
United States Tax Court, 2000
United States Court Of Appeals, 2000
Supreme Court Of The United States Of America, 2001
United States District Court, NY Southern District, 2005
United States District Court, NY Eastern District, 2005
United States Court Of Appeals, Third District, 2005
Supreme Court Of New York, Appellate Division, 2005
   

I heard you created a corny dating video game to perhaps promote this site.  Where can I get this video game and doesn't it show you aren't serious about matchmaking?

Yes and No:

Yes, I did create a corny video game.  It is 100% free and has absolutely no installation requirements or spyware.   It can be downloaded/run by clicking on the chalkboard:

No, it doesn't show I am not serious.  It instead shows that I am utilizing creative advertising to keep your costs down, while at the same time, having a sense of humor. 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

           

     

                  

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